A Reassuring Balm
by Vasheren
Summary: Vash, his spirits low and his heart aching, finds the presence of a small Insurance Girl very comforting in his pain.


_I have no idea when, or if, in the Trigun storyline this would take place, as I know for certain that several of the factors in this fic were never around at the same time in the anime at least(while I have read the Trigun manga, I'm not totally fluent with the timeline of that yet as I am with the anime), but I really like it anyways. I hope you enjoy it as well and thanks for reading!_

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A Reassuring Balm

A cool wind gusted along the dusty plains of the planet Gunsmoke, and among them sat the legendary Vash the Stampede, huddled in a blanket in front of a dying fire. His companions had long since gone to bed, and yet he remained vividly awake, even as the night progressed treacherously towards morning. It was not something Vash was exactly happy about, but nightmares had plagued his sleep the past few nights beforehand, and he did not want to experience yet another during his slumber. So he sat, holding his hands out towards his feeble fire for warmth, waiting for the morning and the heat of the suns to arrive.

As he sat he pondered many things, a skillset he had acquired long ago, during many lonely nights of wandering the endless deserts of the planet. On this particular night, however, he thought about his brother. While he had also treaded on this train of thought many times before as well, that night it stung particularly badly, a never-healing wound whipped directly over his heart. During their travels between cities earlier in the day, Vash and the others had come across a fellow traveller stumbling through the heat. When the group had caught up with him, they had discovered he was severely injured; he bore shallow stab marks all along his arms and legs, providing for a slow and aching death in the desert. When Wolfwood had pressed the man for details as to who had done this to him, the bleeding man had looked upon Vash and, with his dying breath, spoke these words:

"…Knives…looks forward to your reunion…"

The man had then passed on, his pain ending as Vash's had been renewed in a fresh, aching wave. While the Insurance Girls had looked at the two living men questioningly, neither gave a verbal reply. They simply buried the messenger in the desert sand and carried on their way.

Now that Vash was alone he let the grief consume him. It swept through his body in a devastating ripple stemming from his heart; it swam in his veins and was then pulled back to its source, leaving lingering aches throughout his skin and bones. In response, his eyes stung and watered, then overflowed, the salt water leaving wet trails down his cheeks. A moan ripped out of his chest as Vash sobbed, and he gripped his long legs to himself, curling into a miserable ball. He cried for the man who had died carrying Knives' mocking message; he cried for Knives, his once dear brother, and the loss of what they had; and he cried for himself, for the inevitable struggle between the brothers in which Vash knew he must kill his sibling to save the lives of many more people. Something that Vash would never understand was the reason why everything needed to end in gunfire and death. Surely there were other ways, there_ had _to be, but why couldn't he find them?

"…Why? Why can't I…" He breathed, his ravaging sobs subsiding in favour of slower, hitching breaths and silent tears.

Vash heard a rustling behind him, and he turned blearily to see Meryl emerging from their shabby tent, rubbing at her eyes.

"…Vash, why are you up?" She asked, sitting down next to him in the sand. Vash sniffed and wiped at his face, pulling on his usual plastic smile.

"Oh, just couldn't sleep." He supplied, knowing full well his fake smile wouldn't fool Meryl in a second, even if she was half-asleep. "What about you, Insurance Girl?"

"Well, I heard a certain idiot crying out here all alone, so I came to investigate." She said, eyeing Vash carefully. Vash felt her take in his barely concealed pain, and a shadow passed over her eyes, as though she couldn't stand the sight of him.

"Oh." Was all Vash could think to say, and it took all he had not to start crying all over again at the thought of him disgusting Meryl so much that she could hardly look at him. _How much can the heart take before it bursts completely? _He wondered bleakly.

"Are you going to explain, or what?" Meryl asked, her tone a lot kinder than her words. Vash looked at her in surprise. _She wasn't repulsed by him?_

"Oh, don't give me that look. Vash, honestly, you should know I'm used to your blubbering by now. It's not the tears that bother me," she said as she raised a small, hesitant hand and rested it on his damp cheek, "it's the source."

Vash marvelled at the comforting heat her tiny hand was giving his cheek, and he found himself leaning into it, the simple gesture already working wonders on his saddened heart.

"I was…thinking about my brother." He admitted.

"Ah." Meryl sighed, and Vash could tell she understood the implication in his simple statement. Removing her hand from his cheek, she grabbed a stray bit of flint and tossed it into the dying fire before them, the pale flames creating both light and darkness on her face. She let out another sigh, and Vash could tell she was feeling conflicted because although she wanted to help him, to see him smile with genuine happiness, there was nothing much she could do. But the fact that she was there, sitting beside him, was already more helpful than she realized. An ear to listen is sometimes the balm needed for a cure.

"It's just, despite everything he has done, despite all that he has said to me, I still love him. He's my brother, and I know I need to stop him…I just wish there was another way I could do so besides ending his life." Vash spoke the words to the flickering flames before him, his throat feeling tight once again at the thought.

The small woman sitting next to him also stared into the fire, finding the right words to say. Eventually she spoke, and her words creating a kind of spreading warmth in his chest:

"Sometimes the ones we love most are the ones who hurt us the most. What must be is not always what should be, it's true. But, Vash, remember; despite all of this, he's not your only family. You have people who love you, who would never do anything to hurt you…who will stand by you, even during your worst struggles. Just remember that, okay?"

Stunned by her compassionate and caring speech, Vash looked at Meryl, his eyes watering again for a different reason, only to find her leaning toward him. Her lips touched his gently, at first with a light brushing of skin to skin, then with slightly more pressure as she forced her feelings into the kiss. Her touch was warm and so very reassuring to Vash that he simply melted and gave into her kiss, letting his lips move with hers effortlessly. After only a few seconds, she slowly pulled away, opening her eyes and getting to her feet. Vash watched her as she made her way back to the tent stretched out on the desert sand, and just as she ducked back inside, she whispered:

"You should get some sleep."

Vash felt an easy and natural smile curl the edges of his just-kissed lips, and, after a few moments of slightly less dapper thoughts, he ducked into the tent as well, convinced he that would get a few hours of dreamless sleep for the first time in many sun-stretched days.

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_I apologize if Meryl seemed a bit OOC...I read a lot of other Trigun fanfics today, most of them about Vash and Meryl, and I really wanted to have her kiss him since in many of those fics, things didn't end so nicely... '_' I really appreciate reviews, so if you please, I'd love to know what you thought of this!_


End file.
